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Cut the Toxins: Why and How to Let Go of Negative People in Your Life

Cut the Toxins: Why and How to Let Go of Negative People in Your Life

In our lives, we come across both positive and negative people. Of course, the positive ones are great to have around because they make us feel good and help us to be happy. It’s the negative or toxic people who cause us stress and anxiety by bringing us down with their insults or negativity towards others or ourselves. If you find that there’s one or two people in your life who consistently make you feel uncomfortable or unhappy, it may be time to reevaluate your relationship with them and perhaps start cutting ties in order to make room for healthier friendships in your life.

The definition of a toxic person

We can encounter harmful people the same way we might encounter pollution in the environment, toxic chemicals in our food and household items, or germs in day to day life. There are people everywhere who focus on their own victim mentality and wonder why everything happens to them. (Maybe you are one of them. That's fine, it's good to learn and grow, so acknowledge it and work on yourself.) Life is challenging enough without having to navigate the negativity of others, and it's practically hopeless if that negative energy comes from within -- so gain control and do something different about it.

We all know someone. A toxic person is someone who has a negative impact on your life. Toxic people can come in all shapes and sizes, but one thing they share is that their toxicity is always damaging. They might be a family member, a friend, or even just someone you know from school.

The effects of toxicity

Negativity is a disease. Negative thoughts are toxic. We all have them, and we'll never be immune to them, but we can know how to identify them as just that (just a thought, we have control) and take the power away from those bad thoughts. We can be mindful and make wise decisions when we encounter the negative thoughts.

Doubts, fears, and any thoughts that aren't pushing you forward will hold you back. These are just thoughts, and we have control over our mindset and what we think about.

People cannot control what happens to them, but they can control how they react. Toxic people focus on the negative things, and they cannot see that they have control over their own mindsets. They push the blame onto everyone else around them. Their reactions to situations are usually based on strong emotions, rather than taking a step back, taking a deep breath, and thinking long and hard about how they can fix the problem without causing more harm to themselves and those around them.

It's not your job to become their teacher. This work can only be done from within. You are not a victim, you are a survivor: someone who can thrive no matter what the circumstances, and can learn to change your own environment and mindset for better happiness, gratitude, and good health. Our time on earth is precious, spend it wisely and be mindful of who you spend time with.

In our daily lives, it can be easy to dwell on the negatives and everything wrong with our current situation, but if we spend time acknowledging what we are grateful for, things will always seem better. It takes a lot of hard work to change your opinion on something if you've had it for a long time. If you're going to succeed at making yourself happier, you're going to have to put forth effort and actively focus on the positives in your life.

You will live a healthier life if you surround yourself with like-minded people. True friends will motivate you, encourage you, inspire you, uplift you, and make your day better. You deserve that! When you remove toxic relationships from your life, not only will those relationships with the people who inspire you be stronger and improved, but so will your mental health.

Why it's important to cut ties with toxic people

Regardless of who they are, if they're toxic, it's time to let go. The process of letting go doesn't have to be hard. You can talk to them about how they make you feel and then move on with your life. When you forgive someone, it isn't for them, it's just so that you no longer have to carry the burden of how they hurt you. It's time to let that pain go, instead of pondering it indefinitely. Developing a conscious approach to inner work is hard but always worth it.

Just remember that the goal isn't to try and fix them - sometimes people need professional help - it's for you to protect yourself from what's harming you inside.

It’s not always easy to let go of toxic people, especially if they are your family members or close friends. However, research suggests that removing negative people from your life can lead to physical and emotional benefits, like reducing your blood pressure or improving your well-being, making it worthwhile to purge the toxic people from your life.

Every person brings something different into your life, it's important to surround yourself with people who are supportive and make you feel loved. If you're constantly feeling drained or unhappy because of a toxic person, it's time to let them go. In order to do this you'll have to be honest with yourself about why they're draining your energy.

It's common to feel guilty about letting people go, but remember that you can't change other people. Only they can do that. Something to remember when you feel like you can change someone's mind about something they're not doing for you: 'If they wanted to do it, they would.'

How to let go without feeling selfish

People can be toxic for many different reasons. Some people are toxic because they are irresponsible, selfish or just plain mean. They are lazy, stagnant, and lack the understanding to get out from their own bad patterns and endless cycles of their own design. You have outgrown the outdated, unproductive way of doing things and are looking to move on and advance the life you live. I'm so proud of you!

You can can only do so much for others. No matter how hard you work to make people happy, not everyone will be satisfied because they depend on you for their happiness. That is selfish of them. They are toxic, and you'll be better off without them. You should get away from toxic people because putting yourself first is not selfish.

Expecting others to put you first -- that is selfish.

If you have found yourself wondering how to let go without feeling selfish, here are some ways.

1) Stop giving them attention - If a person is only trying to make you feel bad, don't give them any more power than they already have. The next time they start talking negatively about you, walk away with as much grace as possible. It will make you feel like the bigger person if you can leave without reacting, because you won't be feeding into their desire for attention.

2) Change your environment - You are the company you keep. By surrounding yourself with people who have done what you aspire to do, you'll often end up seeing yourself in a more successful light too. Spending time with people who bring out the best in you will help change negative energy into positive energy.

3) Understand what made them that way- Getting professional counselling is something that everyone should do, and it's a valuable tool for working through anything that you encounter. Talking to a therapist can help you understand why someone has become toxic and what got them get there. Understanding is the key word here; when we know why people act a certain way, it makes it easier to take that power away from them in our minds, without letting their words affect us too deeply.

4) Don't take responsibility for other peoples' emotions- Toxic people often try to use guilt trips or manipulation tactics when they want something from you. It will help you to acknowledge and identify it, and make it easier for you to leave.

The art of gratitude and appreciation, and how changing your mindset will repair the damage done by negativity.

I'm not going to lie. There are some people in this world that, frankly, suck. They're toxic. They're annoying. And they always have something negative to say about everything and everyone. Sometimes these people are close friends or family members—but sometimes they're coworkers, or even complete strangers who don't know you at all. These people can really get under your skin, making it hard for you to feel positive or optimistic about anything in your life.

But thankfully, there is a way out of this negativity trap—and it starts with gratitude and appreciation! When you focus on the good things that are happening in your life instead of dwelling on what's wrong, your perspective will start to change. You'll be able to see what's actually important, which will lead to feelings of happiness and positivity. You have the control over your own thoughts.

Turn off the TV (that's a huge source of negativity and advertisers feed off of that.) Be grateful for all that you have, instead of fixating on what you don't have. Sure, it can be hard when you're surrounded by negativity 24/7—but with some practice, you'll find yourself able to tune out those thoughts. You'll focus more on your own positivity and happiness—and over time these positive emotions will actually change your life. Before long, you won't even recognize yourself—but your positive outlook will allow you to take advantage of new opportunities as they come! That's a win-win if I've ever heard one! After all, if we only have a certain amount of time on this earth before we pass, why waste any more time being angry or upset? It just doesn't make sense!